Recovering From Workplace Narcissistic Abuse
Recovering From Workplace Narcissistic Abuse
Leaving a toxic workplace is not always necessary nor the best choice for everyone dealing with workplace narcissistic abuse. But whatever the outcome - you leave, change departments / roles, the abuser leaves - getting away from the abuse doesn't necessarily mean you immediately feel better.
You may walk out the door and still hear your former boss's criticism in your head.
You may continue questioning decisions you made months ago.
You may find yourself expecting the next attack even when you're working somewhere completely different.
That's because workplace narcissistic abuse isn't simply about a difficult job.
It can affect your sense of competence, safety, identity, and trust in yourself.
You may have been successful before this happened: Remember That.
You may have entered the workplace with confidence.
You knew what you were doing.
You had experience.
You had built a career.
Then, slowly, something changed.
You began questioning yourself.
You started over-explaining.
You stopped trusting your judgment.
You may even have become afraid to take initiative.
That doesn't mean your abilities disappeared.
Your confidence was affected by the environment you were working in.
You may need to rebuild more than your confidence
Recovery isn't simply convincing yourself that you're good at your job again.
It can involve rebuilding your relationship with yourself.
Learning to recognize your own judgment.
Trusting your memory.
Understanding what happened.
Processing the experiences that still trigger you.
Learning what healthy leadership and healthy workplace relationships look like.
And reconnecting with the person you were before the experience changed you.
You get through the day.
You do your job.
You take care of your family.
You keep going.
Then, once you're finally safe, the exhaustion catches up with you.
That is not unusual.
Sometimes your nervous system doesn't have the opportunity to process what happened until the immediate threat is gone.
Your nervous system may still be on alert
If you spent months or years anticipating criticism, retaliation, humiliation, being fired or sudden changes in your boss's behavior, your nervous system may have learned to stay prepared.
Even after leaving, you may notice:
Anxiety
Sleep problems
Racing thoughts
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability
Hypervigilance
Self-doubt
Emotional exhaustion
Difficulty trusting authority figures
Your body may still be responding to a threat that is no longer present.
Sometimes you don't realize how much you've been carrying
You may function extremely well while you're in the situation because you have to.
Healing can help you move forward without carrying the workplace with you
You don't want your former boss to continue occupying space in your mind long after you've left the building.
Therapy can help you process the experience, rebuild self-trust, and develop healthier boundaries so that the next chapter of your career isn't shaped by what happened in the previous one.
You survived the workplace. Now you can begin recovering the parts of yourself that were affected by it.
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