Narcissistic Abuse in the Workplace: When You're the Target
Narcissistic Abuse in the Workplace: When You're the Target
Sometimes you know something is wrong long before you can explain what it is.
You may feel singled out.
Your work may suddenly be scrutinized.
You're criticized for things other people aren't.
Your accomplishments are minimized.
You may be excluded from information or meetings and then blamed for not knowing something.
You begin wondering:
“Why me?”
Being targeted can be incredibly destabilizing
When workplace abuse is directed specifically at you, you may begin questioning everything.
Was that meeting intentional?
Why was I left out?
Why did my boss suddenly change toward me?
Why are people treating me differently?
Did I do something?
Your mind may constantly search for the explanation.
That's exhausting.
You may begin changing yourself in an effort to avoid the next attack
You may become excessively careful.
You reread every email.
You rehearse conversations.
You stop speaking in meetings.
You avoid asking questions.
You second-guess decisions you previously would have made confidently.
You may become so focused on avoiding mistakes that you're no longer able to work naturally.
What matters is what happens next
If you're experiencing this, you may be trying to decide whether to stay, leave, confront the behavior, involve HR, seek legal advice, or simply survive until you can make a different plan.
Those decisions are highly individual.
Therapy can help you separate the practical decisions from the emotional storm surrounding them.
You can begin rebuilding your ability to think clearly, trust yourself, and determine what is right for you.
Being targeted can make you question yourself. Healing can help you find yourself again.
Learn More About Workplace Narcissistic Abuse →
The attack may not look dramatic from the outside
Workplace narcissistic abuse can happen through subtle behaviors.
A compliment followed by a criticism.
A responsibility taken away without explanation.
Information withheld.
A private criticism followed by public praise.
A rumor quietly circulated.
A mistake exaggerated.
Your accomplishments attributed to someone else.
Individually, each incident can be dismissed.
Together, the pattern can become profoundly destabilizing.
Sometimes the target is particularly competent
Being targeted doesn't mean you are weak.
In some workplace dynamics, the person being undermined may be highly capable, independent, respected, or unwilling to participate in unhealthy behavior.
You don't have to accept the idea that something must be wrong with you simply because someone is treating you badly.