How to Protect Yourself From a Narcissistic Boss
Don't overshare
A highly controlling person may use personal information as leverage.
You don't need to share everything about your personal life with your boss.
Keep professional boundaries where appropriate.
Don't react immediately
If your boss sends an inflammatory email or confronts you unexpectedly, your nervous system may immediately go into fight-or-flight.
You may want to defend yourself.
Before responding, pause when circumstances allow.
Ask yourself:
What actually needs to be addressed?
What response serves me professionally?
Am I reacting to the current situation or to everything that has happened before?
That pause can protect you.
How to Protect Yourself From a Narcissistic Boss
If you're dealing with a narcissistic boss, your first instinct may be to confront the behavior.
Sometimes that may be appropriate.
Sometimes it may not be the safest or most effective approach.
The right response depends on the workplace, your position, the behavior involved, and your circumstances.
But there are ways to become more intentional about protecting yourself.
Keep important communication clear
When possible, communicate important decisions and expectations clearly and professionally.
If instructions change, clarify them.
If appropriate, confirm important information in writing.
The goal isn't to build a case against your boss out of every interaction.
It's to reduce confusion and make sure you have a reliable record of important workplace information.
Don't let them define your competence
Repeated criticism can become internalized.
You may begin hearing your boss's voice even when they're not in the room.
Keep perspective.
Remember your experience.
Your accomplishments.
Your credentials.
The feedback you've received from trustworthy people.
Your history before this particular relationship.
One person's treatment of you does not define your professional worth.
Know when you need additional support
Depending on the situation, appropriate support may include trusted colleagues, HR, professional organizations, an employment attorney, or other resources.
Therapy can provide another kind of support: helping you remain grounded while you determine what you want to do.
You don't have to make major decisions from a place of panic.
Protecting yourself isn't about becoming paranoid. It's about becoming intentional.
Learn More About Workplace Narcissistic Abuse →